It's snowing today...

One time I drove 45 minutes on the snow covered interstate just to spend a few minutes with my JP. The things we do when we're in love...

2012 Highlights

-Welcomed in the New Year with my best friend. Best New Years I've had in a long time.
-Keri, JP, and I all got to celebrate our birthdays together at Olive Garden!
-Discovered BP...one of my most emotional moments ever. Scared to death, but so happy at the same time.
-Lost BP...one of the worst things I've ever done. It's changed me forever.
-Went to Six Flags with JP(:
-My sister moved 11 hours away
-Quit my job
-Got to have 2 full week vacations with my family.
-Broke up for a jerk
-Got back together
-Ran out of money...cried a lot
-Went to 3 haunted houses
-Went to the zoo with my babe
-Screwed up
-Lost the only person that can make me happy.
-THE END.

Last year wasn't so great. Even more of an emotional roller coaster than 2010. I really don't know where tomorrow is gonna take me, but I can only pray that it carries me up.

8 Months with my JP :)

Happy 8 months baby!!! I miss you so much!!! Ugh.... I can't wait for this to be over!!

Taking a Break... DAY 1

Well Day 1 is just about over and here are my thoughts for today....

Today was very lonely. I tried to keep myself busy as much as I could to keep my mind off of him. I went to lunch with a good friend of mine and we had a great time chatting and eating some of our favorite food. It was really hard not to check my phone every 5 minutes to see if he had texted me. Ugh...this is hard!!! I went to the bank after that to get some things done that I've been putting off. Then I came home and did some zumba to burn energy.

He caved and texted me tonight at 9:10. Oh how I love him :) I wanted to text back so bad!!

Keywords for the day:

Lonliness --> I miss him!
Sadness --> Thoughts of this being the end :(
Emptiness --> A part of me is missing
Running Thoughts --> He's all I think about
Guilt --> For getting him into this and being such a horrible gf
Confusion --> Unsure of what I should do

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow :/

It's been awhile... New guy, new life.

Ok wow...it's sad, but true. I'm terrible at writing on a regular basis!!

There as been SO MUCH that has happened since the last time I wrote. Happy New Year 2011? Really?? LOL :) I have to say that 2011 was a really good year for me. Looking back at my resolutions, I have to say that I did a fantastic job at keeping them!

Resolution #1 - Zumba: I took a Zumba class from January to September and have lost over 10 pounds!
Resolution #2 - Save Money: Hmm well this one was my worst, but I do have a little bit in my bank account.
Resolution #3 - Dance More: Luckily, Zumba is dancing...so I totally rocked this one! I love dancing ;)

Now for an update on my life...

At the end of 2011 things started to change between me and my babe. Yes, the guy I had been with for 5+ years. He had some things change in his life and it took a lot of time away from me. Unfortunately, I'm one of those girls who need a healthy amount of attention. So here's what happened...I had recently upgraded my phone to a smartphone, the problem was at a certain time in the afternoon I wasn't able to send/receive text messages. So with my smartphone in hand, I proceed to search for a free texting app that worked over wifi instead of phone service. I found an app called "TextPlus" and installed it on my phone, created an account, and even texted my babe's number to see if it worked. Heck yeah it did! I was excited lol. A few weeks had gone by, I was bored at home and got curious about this new app and all of it's features. I discovered that it had "communities" that you could join. I was thinking...wow this is like AOL chatrooms! I used to chat in those all the time....until my dad blocked me from it when I was in the 8th grade! LOL. I don't blame him...I would've done it to my child as well. Anywho... I searched for communities that I could join and decide to join a couple that were for people from my state. It only took a few minutes of chatting in there and I got pm's from a couple of guys. One being JP. And this is where my new life began.

To make a loooooong story short, JP and I started talking and I slowly got over "my babe". He still texts me every once in awhile, but I don't respond. JP and I have been together for 8 months tomorrow and it's been a rocky road, but thankful for him fighting for me, it's been some of the best months of my life! It's not easy being in a long distance relationship and it's not easy dating someone that's 7 years younger than you, so last night we agreed to take a week break from eachother. I'm not sure that we've went an entire day without talking or texting in these 8 months, so this will be a true test.

It's day 1 and I've shedded a few tears already. The car rides are the worst! I'm gonna have to make a point to turn on my radio next time I get in my car and just sing my brains out. I love him and I know he loves me probably more than I've ever been loved before. My heart breaks to think that I could lose him, but sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing we'll ever do :(

I know I have left out many details. And you're probably wondering why letting him go would be the "right thing" to do, but I can't share that with you and I hope you understand.

Right now I just can't wait until next Thursday when I can hear his voice again! .....but I'm hoping and I can get stronger as the days go by.

2011 - Day 1

After devoting 2010 to craziness, I'm extremely excited about 2011. I have great family and friends and a God that loves me no matter what.

I'm still madly in love with my babe. I miss him like crazy and I can't wait to see him!
The best part about it...well, it's that he knows it and he loves me too :)

I'm hoping and praying that this year won't be such an emotional rollercoaster!! I know you get tired of reading about my crazy love story.

So last night we had a great time at Josh's. I beat Tyler, Stephen, Seth, and Holly at ping pong!! whoop whoop! 4 out of 6 ain't bad, right? LOL I soooo needed some competitive play--it's good for the soul. We watched the ball drop in New York at 11 cst and then I came home and went to bed. Stormy night, but no tornadoes like was predicted. Thank Goodness!

Can't wait to see what the good Lord has instore for me this year!

New Year's Resolutions for 2011:

1. ZUMBA... I've GOT to get rid of this belly. Ok so it's not that noticeable and I weigh the same as I have the past 8 years, but it would make me feel alot better if I was back in shape.

2. Save Money... I'm pretty good at putting money into savings, BUT I'm going to make a point to save even more.

3. Dance More... I love to dance. Not slow dance... Like Beyonce style lol. I dance when I'm happy, therefore I want to dance more in 2011 :)

I will be back soon!

Happy New Year to everyone!!!!!

Kay.

Just Don't.

Don't tell me you love me then tell me to "CHILL"
Don't ask me how much i love you then leave
Don't let me keep talking if you want me to stop
Don't play with my heart!!!!

I'm so confused babe. This is what happens when you live through a cell phone. I'm so sick of it. We only live 10 minutes apart...

My answer to "How much do you love me?" was "TOO MUCH"
Did you not believe me???

Like the song says...
"Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart.
Nothing I can say--Total eclipse of the heart."

I wish this was all a dream... the past 3 years of my life...one long dream...

"Everything will change, but LOVE remains the same."

Ily babe.